I stand alone on a beach with the wind gently blowing and the water a safe distance from me. I creep slowly towards the water and my heart rate increases. Breathing in and out, attempting to gain courage, I begin to crawl ever closer to overcome my fear of the deep unknown.
Hiking along a cliff seems easier and safer than being near an ocean where the other side is nonexistent. I crawl to the water’s edge and my fingers caress the icy cold and I pull back. Small waves drift ever closer to me causing my fingers to seek shelter from the cold. I observe the horizon and feel the magnetic pull of the ocean. Is it because we came from water and our spirits are ever searching for sanctuary that we have an unconscious desire to be back in the womb? Our world was smaller and we were alone with our thoughts and found comfort in our mother’s heartbeat.
I close my eyes and attempt to block the world around me. As I breathe in and out, I listen to my heart, seeking solace in the calming rhythm. I walk towards the ocean and my feet touch and a shiver goes down my spine. A wave climbs up to my ankles and I step closer. Now I am knee deep shivering from head to toe. I breathe in and out and listen to the ever-increasing rhythm of my heart which has now reached my throat. I swallow and dive in, feeling the pressure of the ocean surround me. I can still hear my heart but my shivering has stopped. I am calm and I let the water embrace me as it comforts me and disavows my fear. My chest feels pressure forcing me to emerge through the water; desperate for air. I open my eyes and the sun greets me. I am not afraid as the sun embraces my spirit.