I liberated myself today. I told myself it is okay to feel emotions such as anger, sadness, frustration, irritation, and all the other feelings I have been told suppress and hide. I freed myself today. I told myself it’s okay to cry, to scream, and to yell. I told myself it is all okay. My whole life people have said, “Stop your crying, quit being a baby, suck it up buttercup, and a whole slew of other things. Our society tells us to suppress our emotions. However, we are emotional beings. We feel things every day; all day long. Yet, we are forced to hide the very essence of ourselves.
As a writer, when I let my emotions fall where they may my words and ideas pour out of me. Meaning and understanding of the world around me cascade around my universe. When I suppress them, when I hide them, I feel heavy and weighed down. Eventually, the anger builds inside me growing into an ugly beast. I show it through slamming a door, having a scowl on my face, snapping at someone, but I ignore the reason behind it. I continue to feel pressure to suppress as others say, “What the hell? Get over it!”. We don’t ask each other to explain how we feel or express ourselves.
We feel all the time. All the while, pretending our feelings don’t matter, as we separate further and further from each other. If we expressed ourselves more and allowed each other to communicate our emotions, we may find that we actually can connect to each other in a way we never knew. We may realize we are all one.When we walk into a room and feel the tension it may be to our benefit and growth to talk to each other and acknowledge the energy surrounding us.
I am happy that I am liberated from my self-made prison. I will allow myself to feel my emotions and let them flow through me. I choose to no longer hide or ignore them, letting them fester like wound inside myself. I am free today.