Death of the ego as it cries in agony, telling us we can’t, we shouldn’t, there are walls, barriers, things in front of us, preventing us from moving forward. It is a lie. I read once that if it makes you angry, it is a lie. It took a while for me to understand the meaning; but I get it. When someone is telling me something that is making me angry; I stop and listen. I see that what they are saying is a lie and that I don’t need to get mad. I need to become compassionate and understanding. I am not being attacked, my ego is, and boy does that thing want nothing more than to get angry and fight. Instead I listen to the message that isn’t being said. I attempt to see through the eyes of the person speaking and realize that they are love and are merely believing a lie and feeling helpless or unaware of a need to change perspective.
We are told so many things in our lives which are being passed down from generation to generation. It is time to listen to our soul; the one that knows the truth. I know my family and others reading this would say to pray for guidance; but does anyone really listen to the answer to their prayer; without the ego getting in the way?
Everything I believed about god when I was a child before I was taught what religion meant in the mainstream was true. God is love. I understood who god was as a child and then something happened; lies were piled on and I lost the message. I remember thinking god was so beautiful and as a child I could feel god inside me. God felt like the warmth of the sun, the protection of a blanket, the safety of a warm embrace. I got lost when they told me god was a He, but I was made in His image, but I am a woman, so I became confused. I was told god was vengeful and angry, but the god I knew as a child was beautiful. God was love and I understood love, which was beyond language. Words and their meanings got tangled up till I could not see past all the crap that was piled up. Life happens, and when we believe the lies we lose our ability to love. To love unconditionally, as we did when we were children. But I can see now. I can see past the deception.
I see a lot of pain in the world and I know the only way through it is unconditional love. We believe that the powers that be need to be conquered, but that is a lie. It is a lie that we are supposed to rise up and conquer other people and destroy. That is not true. It has happened for thousands of years and no love has come from it; only more greed and more lies. Stop the destruction and breath in and out until we can see that compassion for each other and forgiveness is what is needed.
I can no longer keep my mouth shut and follow the rules. I was never good at rules anyway. I was told the rules are there to keep us safe. I call bullshit! Love is all that matters and we need to crawl inside ourselves and dig deep then let go of the pain. Let the sadness come; then let it go. Only then can we start to breath and feel love. Depression is an illusion designed to keep us down. The ego wants us to feel sad so we won’t love. Love of self comes first then the rest is easy. When we were children we knew what love was, unfortunately, we were told there were boundaries, walls designed to keep us safe, rules to keep us civilized. Well I call bullshit! I am going to tear down the illusionary walls around me and I am going to ride through the pain holding on to myself. I will believe what makes my heart soar and I will ride through the storms of discontent and hate. I can climb out of the dark and into the light.
I was told to follow my heart and I am following my heart. I had to dig through the pain, the lies, the illusion, that the belief that the walls around me were designed to keep me safe; when in reality they were designed to keep me caged. Love is what matters and love is what will guide me to my mission. I can see it when I let go of the pain. I can see my heart’s desire. I see a better world and I don’t believe there are walls or boundaries stopping me. I see through the lies and know that love is what will guide me to my heart’s desire. All the pieces are coming together in a way I couldn’t see until I opened my eyes to my heart and soul. I started listening to the universe as it was screaming at me.
I always believed that if you keep falling maybe you should stop and change directions. What that means is, stop and listen to everything the universe is trying to tell you. God speaks to us all the time and when we listen with our heart it begins to soar and rise above the lies to find the truth. I see where I am supposed to be and what I am supposed to do and I see who is there to help me. My family and friends whom I love more than anything have always been here to guide me and help me. I am not crazy but if I am then, thank God!!! Because this world needs a little crazy!!