Being teased my entire life, starting with my sister and cousins and moving on to classmates for being that weird girl who sees the world slightly different than the entire population. I have said things that don’t always make sense, used the wrong cliché and more often than not used the wrong word in a sentence. I learned a valuable lesson that took years to perfect; but works like a charm.
I found that you have two choices on dealing with bullies and teasing:
1. You could cry about it, stomp your feet and tell them to stop, that works to empower them to keep going, or
2. You can feign ignorance, smile, take a deep breath and walk away.
You can’t change a bully by playing their game; you can win by not giving them power.
You want to win and change their behavior; change yours first. And above all else love yourself enough to never doubt your own beauty and power. Know that you are not stupid, ugly, fat, or wrong. You have to know this in the deepest part of your soul. Know this because those are meaningless words that hold no power unless you give it to them. Even if you may think you are one or more of those things love yourself anyway, love the stupid, love the ugly, love the fat, and know you aren’t wrong. Culture makes those things good or bad and really that is merely perception that can be changed on a moment to moment basis.
There is also a forgiveness that has to happen with love. Forgiveness for those who have wronged us, hurt us, or harmed us. We are all human and we are all imperfect, in fact, there is no such thing as perfection; at least when humans are involved. Now a beautiful sunset, that can be perfection, but we as humans are far from a perfect sunset. We are more like an ocean wave with tremendous power, yet we chose to use it for absurdities and anger.
How I deal with a bully who is teasing, completely disregard they are teasing to the point where I don’t even get it; because if you have to explain the joke it no longer is funny. And always smile, feign ignorance to the meaning of the joke and the power remains with you. “Oh you were teasing me, hmm I had no idea.”
Violence is with fists and weapons not with words the only power a word has is the power you give it. Otherwise it is lines and symbols, sounds and inflections that have no power to cut unless you open up and allow it.
People can be mean, cruel and horrible but only if we give in and allow it by giving them the power. Bullies will not go away until we stop giving them power over us. Smile, breath, and walk away and most importantly love yourself. Love, not with ego mind, but straight from your heart. Let that love expand to those around you with a kind smile and patience; not rage. Rage never solved anything but more rage.
Just to recap when you are being teased or bullied:
- Love yourself and never doubt your own beauty and power
- Smile politely, feign ignorance, and walk away.
- Keep your power, don’t give it away.
- And forgive, understanding we are all human, even the bully. Smile politely